Depression and time

Depression is the kind of thing you may not even know you have. It can sneak up on you. It can just be. It may be part of your identity if you let it.

Suffering with depression you may say things like, 'Life sucks,' 'nobody understands,' 'nobody loves me,'and you just may not ever see silver linings or light at the end of the dark, dark tunnel.

When I started listening to The Listening Program, I had every expectation I would get gain. I had no idea what to expect. I had hopes the sensory integration component would help with chronic pain, other than that, I really had no idea what to expect.

I got help with sleeping a bit more deeply in the second week and I was feeling better generally in the first 4 weeks.

Weeks 5 and 6 I crashed emotionally and cried for 2 weeks. it was like I couldn't hold the hurt and pain and unhappiness in any more and it fell out in little riverettes down my cheeks. (I made that word up.) It also felt like a dam burst in my heart and I unleashed the pent up sadnesses I held so tightly all those years.

For awhile I was afraid it would never stop! That I was so old and so full of black emotions they would never end.

But in 2 weeks total they ended.

I listened to the other albums in TLP for 8 more weeks and was, quite frankly afraid to go back to the speech and language albums for fear I would lose another couple weeks to tears and prepared by buying boxes of tissues and putting them everywhere!

They weren't needed. Whatever filtering and coping mechanisms I seemed to be missing appeared to have resolved the first time through listening. I really wondered at that. How amazingly miraculous was that experience?!!

I still am listening to TLP. I know every time I do another cycle of listening I will get new gains. And depression is a bitch. Sorry, but it just is. Nasty, insidious, sneaking and debilitating. It makes you someone you are not. And I know so many of us suffer in varying degrees to this bitch of a condition. I really want others to see the hope I see... that listening to this amazing music can change your brain and change your life for the better and for good.

Now if I can just keep from getting any more head injuries!!!