Week 3 of TLP and Why I'm Doing It.

I have 2 theories related to why everyone should use The Listening Program. One is, if you have ever been a child, you have a head injury. Not that I know that, but kids crash and burn all the time and the odds are good. Second, if you are awake, you have ADD/ADHD. Not that I know that, but judging by the uber bright people I hang with, odds are good. That being said, you need to go through The Listening Program!

I had to put a list together of things I currently deal with before I could get a listening plan to do TLP myself. Here is my list:

*I am missing about a 7 year chunk of memory related to names. I can see faces and recognize them but can't recall their nanmes or where I know them from and some were clients of mine I had relationships with!
*Highly distractable
*Short attention span OR
*So focused I don't hear people talking to me
*I require systems for follow through. Things have to be calendared, written down, coordinated. I choreograph trips to run errands even!
*Things have to be a certain way for me to proceed. The kitchen has to be clean for me to cook. My desk cleared for me to work. Sometimes I wash my hands BEFORE going to the bathroom as I might have ink on them and don't want it on my clothes, stuff like that.
*Impulsive
*Write down directions and prompts. I didn't used to need that. I could picture where I needed to go in my mind and follow it. Not now.
*If things are not calendared or written down, I don't do them. I don't remember to do them.
*I have to problem solve everything, all the time, every day, with or without permission. Don't tell me your troubles unless you want suggestions/advice/solutions.
*I control depression by choice. It's been 17 years since I realized I was depressed. Probably had everything to do with my life at the time, but it is often below the surface and I control it.
*Do not sleep well. I get blocks of 2-4 hours at a time. Seriously bothers me and I think I look tired and older because of it.
*Have less patience for somethings than I used to.
*Nerves get rattled with noise like TV, radio, high pitches, unnecessary noise, like the kind kids make.
*Chronic constant pain, from accidents and injuries.
*Don't eat like I should. Don't even know what that is. Seems like I learn about something good and then it's wrong too. Really would like to droop this excess weight I didn't have 3 years ago.
*Used to exercise and work out consistantly and was in great shape and pretty cocky about it! Don't work out now.
*Have to think too much to spell sometimes when I've been a writer and editor for decades. Notice I start inserting a word that should fall further in the sentence, into the middle of whatever I'm writing at the time. Weird. Has to be from last head injury!
*Wrote this list originally by hand as this is too hard to do, writing this tough stuff and having to think about my problems. Didn't used to think about my writing. I just did it.
*Sometimes my mind just goes somewhere else. I zone off and have to figure out what I was doing before the impromptu trip!
*Randy says I start sentences, don't finish and start new thoughts giving him whiplash of the brain! I do it all the time cuz I can't keep up with my thoughts and they tumble out without balance and purpose.

Okay, that's enough transparency for one blog post. Now you know some of the reasons why I believe I needed help getting my brain to work like it used to!

Journey Back & Forth

Dear Reader,

Heading into the New Year, thinking about how you got here and why and how and what? Me too. Good time to consider who we are and where we are going. I was born Deborah Lynne States, then took the name of my first husband, Cross. Another marriage after those 23 years and I had the last name Snider for a whole 18 months. After that divorce, I took my children's last name back, instead of my maiden name. My friends re-named me Roxy a few years ago. Sooo, Debi States became Deborah Cross became Deb Snider then Deb Cross now Roxy Cross. None of my names came from me. And given a choice, what would I do? Leave it for now as it seems to work for everyone!

I already have 3 blogs. A personal one, Next! http://roxycross.blogspot.com/, one about my sons Boyz, http://roxcross.blogspot.com/, subtle difference in the url. And I have one on Word Press that is not so user friendly to me yet, about feeding the homeless and growing plants and stuff, http://roxycross.wordpress.com/. Why another blog?

What I have been asked to share is what I've learned in life. I've been told I'm brave enough to live transparently, sharing to help others. I don't feel so brave thinking about it. My life has some scary parts. People tend to keep those to themselves. Although the scary parts are what threw me into this journey and I suspect I'm not alone in that.

If I choose to share my life experiences out loud and the subsequent choices I've made to improve my life, my hope is, that bravery will be rewarded by helping someone in need. Cuz that is something I'd be all over! My personal motto for over a decade has been, 'Make a Difference.' I do it every day, all day long. So here I go, making a difference hopefully for you, Dear Reader!

I send messages all the time from various social media sites and I hear back from people who needed what I say. Their notes make me cry. The only reason I share, as I mentioned, is to make a difference and when that happens, I am so touched. Thank you. I have been writing and saving my thoughts on my computer, but it is apparently time to share publicly.

Starting this blog, a rather transparent one, today. I will share the issues I deal with and how I got to this point. Then I will try different things to improve my situation and blog about the journey, good or not so much! I really hope it helps people in their struggles. Life is not all that easy for anyone, no matter what it looks like. Anything and everything we can do to lighten the load, can only help others and those in their circles and perhaps only subtly shift the earth swiftly towards peace.

Love ya buckets, Roxy